Desolate

When I look back

I  cherish things that I had

And also think

About those I didn’t.

When I look back

I wonder what I did

To end where I am

And ask myself then

Is this what I wanted?

By my past being haunted?

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I didn’t love her

Because I chose to

I loved her

Because I was destined to.

She was not whom I wanted

She was whom I needed.

I loved her for my survival

In my moments of fear

She was my Holy Bible

But now…

Life has changed big time

Neither can I be hers

Nor can she be mine.

I can just love her

Without her knowing it

Because now I fear

To once again ruin it.

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